New Year’s Resolution

2012, You were so bad to me.

2013, Please be good to me.

During , 2012 I finally realized what life was, and what everything meant to me. If you think the journey to realization is a piece of cake, then you’ve been fooled. I went through a lot of hell this year and wish to finally be happy. I hope to find happiness with myself in 2013. I hope I get back on track and not to be greedy of love. When I’m sad or depressed, I hope I will be the one to cheer myself up; I no longer want to rely on people. I have realized throughout this year that the people I thought I could rely on, I really couldn’t. People are worthless fools. I no longer want to believe and spend much time on other people’s opinions of me. Whether it’s good or bad, it doesn’t matter because it’s all trash and useless to me. I hope to get closer to my weight goal and look in the mirror and at least sometimes think that I am beautiful. I wish that I will stay focused in school, get the best of grades and stay interested in learning Korean. Hmm, I guess this is all~

My ‘New Years Resolution’ sounds different from others I guess you could say. Even it wasn’t about to be a new year, I will still would try to do and achieve these things. Also, I used words like hope and wish because there is a possibility that I won’t do/achieve these things in the year of 2013 but I hope to!

Explaining my ‘Resolutions’:

I am person to get very distracted and do things that avoid me from doing things that are on my to-do list. Girls..always get their heart broken and it’s mainly because they ended up with the wrong man for them because they were greedy for love. They fell in love with a guy because his moving words and actions. They fell in love too fast and were not expecting this random breakup..All girls have this problem and I wish they would at least try to stop being idiots! I have went through 2 horrible relationships and hope to never experience that again but it may happen because some days I feel lonely and jealous so I then greed to have a relationship and to be in love. Have you ever wrote a status on Facebook saying that you’re sad or just went through a tragic situation? Everyone pities you and comments on your status saying they’ll be there for you if you need someone to talk to. Just know that is complete crap. I don’t know who on my friends list they are trying to show that they are thoughtful to because obviously they aren’t commenting that for my benefit! Every single person I thought that was there for me, was not. I realized that all the people I recommended my friends and buddies have forgotten about me. Instead of crying a river to someone who does not care, cry to someone who does. Guess who you know for a fact cares? you. Do not rely on others but just rely on yourself because you are all you got at the end of the day. You will never backstab yourself and you will always be 100% real. People always have something they want to say about me. Whether it’s good or bad, I always ended up thinking about it. Whenever someone calls me ugly or fat, I do not care. I already know I’m ugly and fat so why should it affect me if I hear it come out of someone else’s mouth? Haha I just hope to enforce this more in 2013 and instead of having a straight face when someone calls me fat and ugly, I want to laugh. I do get compliments time to time but I hate them more than when I get insults. Most the time that I am complimented it when they find out that I think of myself of ugly and fat. They tell me I’m so skinny and very very pretty. I can tell that they aren’t lying and it’s sweet to let them know that they think the opposite but why do they think that will magically change my opinions on myself? Everyone has different opinions and someone’s opinions about themselves don’t always have to be positive so let me be. I have a weight goal that eventually I wish to reach. Everyone has shared their 2 cents about my weight goal number and that is fine but pointless that they wasted their breath because I’m not losing weight for anyone’s personal preference but mine. There are also times when I just cringe when I look in the mirror because I am just so ugly. I wish one day that I could compliment myself. Finally, I would like to stay focused in school. I realized the importance of education right in time (before it was too late!) and I wish to not fall back and still care about my grades as I do right now. Finding about Korean music has changed my life. During the bad times, I was able to take my mind off it but learning about Korean culture, finding new amazing music artists to listen to in this language, and watching their shows. South Korea has such an interesting culture and lifestyle and I am grateful that I took  my time to learn about it and somewhat experience it. Probably because it interested me during this very dark time during my life, I am very grateful towards it and hope to keep studying Korean and be fluent in the language one day. This may sounds weird but in the future, I want to go Korea and do good deeds. This country’s existence helped me get through a rough time in life, it would make me feel better doing charity work or something there.

If you have any New Year’s Resolution, please comment share! I would like to hear about yours also ^^