YIPEE

Today is a good day. VERY good day. Yesterday,  I took the math retest (government test) So I no longer have to study or take notes on math. There was only two things I didn’t know: some ‘n’ and ‘u’ looking symbols I probably learned in 4th grade and then graphing slope. If people knew this, they probably think I’m dumb or something but whatever! I honestly never really learned about slopes and rise and blahblahblah. I just feel really happy right now because studying/learning math is honestly depressing especially because I’m homeschooled and never went to live online classes at all this year. I feel happy now, but if I failed this test again and they seriously choose to put me back a grade, I will cry and my mom would be so mean to me for the rest of my years in school. She might even be mean to me while in college!! This year, I was expecting to get all F’s (YES F) and my mom was expected C’s and D’s but you know what, guess what I got on my report card? Seriously just guess~~ I GOT FREAKING A’S, B’S AND C’S!!! No D’s or F’s. And because my mom was expecting the worse, all she said was “I’ll let these C’s slide….”. THANK YOU JESUS. I prayed and read some really comforting scriptures but you know, it’s all up to me not God or Jesus if I passed. It’s not their test so they didn’t have to study, I did –.- and you know what sucks, I only missed about 3 classes and most of the classes I went to I didn’t write a summary on it so I didn’t get credit and I barely went on the website they gave us to use to “study” with because I honestly thought it sucked. Every session of class I watched, helped me and all the info got sucked into my head the only thing that didn’t stick was slope blah!!! (lol I forgot what it’s name okay) They had like 20 questions on the test about not just 5, 20!!!! I was expecting to pass but barely pass but now after seeing it, I don’t think I will even pas ): but not thinking negative and not going to be all depressed and cry about how sucky I think I did because I just think that will jinx me. But now that I’m done with the test, no more studying math!! YAAAY. Meaning my whole focus will be on languages now. Lately, I have been remembering Korean phrases and speaking Korean-English. Big difference just by watching dramas ;D and lately, I’ve been so interested in Chinese language and deciding on when I learn Chinese, whether I’m going to learn Cantonese and/or Mandarin.  That will probably take me the longest to learn but I think I will learn it fast but I have to put that all on pause because once I’m fluent with Korean, I have to learn Spanish AGAIN. My mom thinks it’s important if I learn Spanish because you can get a job if you speak both English and Spanish. How annoying. People never believed that I was pretty fluent in Spanish because when I sang some lyrics of songs, I never actually read the lyrics and basically spoke gibberish type of Spanish when singing some songs ahahahah. But I really could understand the language but for some reason, it always takes me like 5 seconds to fully understand what the person says in Spanish so I look very blonde when someone is trying to talk to me in Spanish. Where I used to live, there were a lot of cocky Hispanics who thought they were better than everyone. It was really strange because I was still trying to find myself and since I was really into Spanish music back then, people thought I was a weirdo and wished I was Hispanic and thought I looked dumb. Makes no sense since my mom’s family is basically Venezuelan and my native tongue is not Spanish so yes (I would say it’s Spanglish LOL), when I was 9, I didn’t know some words and maybe I looked dumb. Back then, it would bother me when people wouldn’t believe me but I find it quite hilarious when situations like that happen now. (it rarely happens BUT STILL). I can honestly say I’m Hispanic, Native, Indian and so on if I want because technically I am. I enjoy being mixed because it’s different cultures mashed into one but can be annoying. In the past, I would circle in Hispanic on a test sheet but now, I think it’s none of the school’s business to be honest. I for some reason they use that against me in some sort of way. And explaining to people my ethnicity.. SO ANNOYING. Why am I going on about this???????? I swear I have ADD. This is another annoying post and hopefully nobody actually read this BUT WHATEVER CUZ YOLO haha. Going to listen to soothing music and study, watch the rest of this drama, and study some more Korean~~ Agh I really gotta peeeeeeeeeeeeee.

As usual, I was on tumblr this morning (it’s 5:40 AM rn). I get on the 37th page and come along some posts someone posted about very relevant subjects. He is the only boy I probably follow and he’s basically the cutest guy I’ve seen so far in my years of living. I’M BEING SERIOUS. Anyways, I tried so hard not to click on this page because I end up creeping at his pictures and staying on his page for about 2 hours listening to the songs on his playlist over and over (I am doing that at this moment HAHA). Not going to lie, the first time I came along his profile, I just kept being a weirdo and just just ‘omg’ out of breath because he was so cute to me. No, I do not regret acting like a weirdo because as I said before, he is the cutest guy I’ve seen so far in my life so it’s normal to react that way!!! Don’t judge me  -.- …But you know, when I first see someone, I don’t just see their looks, I also see their personality (basically what type of person they are) most of the time. I really do think I didn’t see his personality?? Because I am now realizing how real of  a person is. Me noticing that made me come back to reality in some way. Reading his post THAT ARE SO TRUE, I’m just like, “Wow, I seriously agree with this dude. I have respect for this man for not thinking like every other dumb person in this world.”  Ahhhhh~~~~ This music is just really good too, MORE RESPECT TO HIM FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE IN MUSIC. *Moving on now!!* As I was saying, I felt like it made me come back to reality and I seriously cannot think of how and why. I liked seeing his very mature, attractive face and the pictures with him and his pretty girlfriend. I kept thinking in my head while staring at his pictures “He’s going to have a good future. Something good will come his way sooner than he may think” When I say stuff like that, 99.9% of the time, I’m usually correct. Maybe I feel happy for him??? I really do not know. It’s starting to frustrate me!! D: But whatever, best luck to him~~ I feel very nice. I was very nasty in my last post because I  was annoyed but not going to delete it cause….YOLO ahahah JUST KIDDING. I feel very good though! I all of a sudden have the motivation to sit down and study for my retest that is in 4 days……..HOLY CRAP! I have not looked at the date in 3 days omg 3 days wasted doing absolutely nothing ); . I also want to study Korean soon because I can’t move on to learning a next language until I’m fluent in Korean (and just have to learn new words day by day) but you know what?? I can’t pick up anything, NOT EVEN A TISSUE that has to do anything with learning Korean because I need to study for my retest >.< Omo, thinking of all of this makes me feel overwhelmed but it’s okay, I deserve to feel this way for slacking off. You know, I’m really surprised my mom hasn’t yelled at me for not studying AHAHAHA. I’ve been eating ice cream sandwiches and watching movies for the past couple of days.

Wow just got distracted and blogged for about 20 minutes. HOW LAMEEE. brb, pee time~~ If people read this, they would be like OMG WHAT A FREAKING WEIRDO NOBODY CARES THAT YOU’RE GONNA PEE. Well, you know those people who would like randomly stop talking during your conversation via instant messaging?? And you’re all like WTFF???! Yeah it would’ve been nice of them to tell you that they’ll be away from the computer for a while because they have to pee/poop. At first, I thought it was really gross but nahhhhhhhh. It’s now 6:30 AM. Because I said I felt motivated and my test is in a few days, I will wash the dishes in about 20 minutes and then start studying. SIGHHHH. Sometimes I wish I didn’t screw up so much in the past. There is no possible way to go back in the past and fix all the mistakes I did, so I must keep looking forward. I’m very young (seriously) so I have enough time to make a change in my life so that in the future, everything will be good. THAT IS WHY I NEED TO STUDY SO I CAN PASS THIS TEST LOL. Sort of starting to feel which makes no sense because I ate about 4500 calories worth of food throughout the night SMH

Gonna start my lousy day now. peaaceee ;*

look at my long nail tho~ lolol now leaving

This is probably going to be a rant.

So I was working out but I thought I should take a break. During my time of taking a break, I checked my Twitter to find like 89465 people talking about modeling. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL. People do not know the meaning of modeling at all. They think they have a pretty face, they can be a successful model. I’ve seen plenty of ugly (in my opinion, they are ugly) models but they are a good height for modeling and have very nice bone structure. Some people who hire models like the look of not perfect teeth such as gaps and overbites. But some of these people talking about modeling got freaking crooked teeth and somewhat chipped teeth (like from eating ice or something). And the main thing is that they are freaking shorter than 5’4!!! Yes!! They are are about 5’0 to 5’2. Have fun dreaming that you will become a successful model at that height! And have fun modeling children’s clothing!

If you are thinking about making a career in the modeling industry, at least know the basics! Yes, I planned for many years to make a career in modeling but my mother let me accept any conferences with modeling agencies because I am somewhat over weight and at the time, I was very short AND my face is full of acne! My mother was a former model and what she says makes sense. It would be a waste of my time signing with an agency if I’m short! When I first got serious and wanted to model, I was 5’3. I did NOT want to model children clothing. I wanted to do runway and model clothing for older woman. And being honest, I think if a agency takes you, you’re wasting a lot of their time/money with your presence because you probably won’t get a lot of  jobs (and good ones) because of your height. I am now 3 inches taller. Some (a lot) of people thinker I’m taller than I really am so if people think that, I might be able to get away with being 5’6 and do runway. In my opinion, I look shorter because my upper thighs are thick making my legs appear short ): BUT I’M WORKING ON THAT. And  speaking of thick!!!, WHO THE FREAK WANTS TO BE A PLUS SIZE MODEL?! I know I don’t! Lately, a lot of fat people (yes fat) think they are ‘thick’ and think their fat is attractive wearing size 14 pants at the age of 12. I don’t understand lately why people are lying to themselves. There is nothing wrong with being fat. IF you want to be fat, then go ahead but just know your legs and butt do NOT look attractive in leggings and shorts, or even in skinny jeans.

Seems like I’m talking a lot of crap about fat girls right??? I’m not putting any fat being down, I’m just saying. If anyone ever reads this and gets offended in any sort of way, just know you’re very insecure. Continuing on about fat, I recommend myself fat. Even though my upper body is very small, below my waist is very big. I’m a size 5 in pants. I do not think anyone understand how big my thighs/butt look on me. That can be solved very easily. Dieting? NOPE. If you think you can lose drastic weight just by dieting, have fun dieting losing up to 7 lbs!! I workout everyday of the week but if my body gets sore, I take a 1-2 day break. I take vitamins, cut down on eating and try to stay away from bad food. This is like the most simple thing to do to lose weight yet people act as if it’s the hardest thing ever. Maybe you’re just extremely lazy if you think it’s hard. I mean you can say that if you had a trainer…but you probably don’t! A lot of people, ESPECIALLY teenage girls want to be a model just so they can say it, and act all cool. Like no! NO. Have you thought about how hard it is? It’s a hard job and you will probably not enjoy it at all because you do not have passion for it your just doing it just because. If this is how you’re thinking, keep on dreaming you dreamer~~

Lately, I’ve been admiring a model. She’s Korean (obviously, my dash is basically pure Korean) : Soo Joo

I will end this post with photos of her because she is absolutely perfect ;*

She deserves a round of applause for being so close to perfect. Her legs are very long and small; JELLYYYYYYY.

Very Emotional rn

Browsing through youtube. Ya know, the usual. I came across a song which was very familiar because I heard it in a drama I had watched a few weeks ago. The song is Anytime by Chae Dong Ha. And me being typical youtuber, I start reading the comments and one says “nice song....but too sad that the singer not longer around.....” and I’m just like WOAH WOAH WHAT SUCH A BOOTIFUL VOICE. I google’d Chae Dong Ha’s name to find out that he committed suicide. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I can tell if someone has a good heart or nice, caring, etc person. His face just made me so sad. All I could think about how good of a person he probably was. Maybe he was rude (idk an example) but you know deep inside, he is…well was ): a good person. Life is very precious and his precious life ended really soon. It breaks my heart to know he committed suicide. I cannot take to hear that someone decided to end their life. No matter how big or small the situation is, you can get help. You can get that problem resolved some way, somehow. A life could’ve been saved. May the Lord forgive him for the sin he had committed because Lord, you must know he did it to escape this sad depressing life. You will never be perfect or have a perfect life on this Earth. You have to stick around in order to have a perfect life but sometimes people give up because it gets too hard ): I’m crying a river right now, BECAUSE IT’S SERIOUSLY SO SAD. I wish I could help everyone that is having suicidal thoughts. If people saw how much I’m crying they would think I’m over exaggerating or something. NO I’M NOT EXAGGERATING.  Maybe I’m so emotional since I know how it feels and been down that rode and realized how to find happiness. Like they didn’t get the chance to find happiness. I wish that people who can help prevent someone from committing suicide, TRY THEIR BEST TO HELP PREVENT THEM FROM DOING IT.