2 years ago, I was somewhat late for school. School had already started and I wasn’t signed up yet. While me and my mom were filling out papers, there was another boy sitting there with his mom all quiet. He was really cute and he looked like someone I would get along with very well (idk I can somewhat tell someone’s personality just by staring at him). That is when my crush started for him. But you know, I only saw him and searched for him all the time in school but after I gave up. THEN as one day, while my class was on bathroom break, I saw him ALLL the way down the hall. His classroom was also on bathroom break and I was just like YEEEP!!!~ To find out, my grandma’s foster kid (who was currently living with me at the time) had the same lunch period as him. So after a week of contemplating if I should send him a STUPID letter or not, I sent it to him with my number on it. He texted me (OOHLALA). But you know, I found out that he had a girlfriend and I didn’t mind at all!!! And I’m being serious about that. It would be really nice just to be friends with him. But I think his gf realized it was me because every time I saw her, she had a stank face???? Like chill, I’m not gonna mess with your relationship that’s messed up. It didn’t seem like he wanted to be friends with me at first to be honest. I felt that I was really annoying him so after a while of trying, I stopped texting him. But a month or so later, I texted him and we became we really good friends and it was awesome!! Like I felt comfortable talking to him on the phone (I called him okay I had the balls at that time). Guess what though?! I can NEVER talk to someone on the phone without freezing up and getting an anxiety attack. I kept the conversation going. And you know it does get awkward texting people to, but nope! Seriously, we would’ve made the best of friends man. But guess what happened next? His girlfriend deleted my number out of his phone and told him to not talk to me anymore. And I think she threatened to break up with him if he talked to me. And he said he cares about his girlfriend too much. It was really sad moment for me but I seriously understood where he was coming from. She was honestly lucky to have him as a boyfriend, but they aren’t together anymore. Ain’t that some crap….
I believe I’m blocked on his facebook account too. Haha WOW. I honestly think that was dumb because that was probably his girlfriend. That is a very jelly move, AND I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. But you could’ve done better than that. Also because I’m not a loner, I have friends who have facebooks. But you know, I didn’t feel the need to stalk his page. There was no point. Time went on, I dated dudes ya know, and I made/had friends so I don’t need to be thinking of him. Psssh. Well there is something called memory. So after over a year (I would say 2), I look up his facebook page and BAM. All his statuses are basically about how much he sucks at getting girls, how ‘lonely’ he is, that he’s single, AND A BUNCH OF FREAKING SAD FACES. Wow, I could be his friend. Wow I could be his girlfriend. He doesn’t even know I exist. What if he hates me, or creeped out by me????? I just want to be by his side and you know what? I can’t. I cannot add him on my second account on facebook. that’s creepy. I have absolutely no way of contacting him and thinking about it, I don’t even want to contact him because what if he hates me!!!!!!!! The only thing I can think about is contacting someone that I know is close to him. I’m somewhat friends with her and I just want to pour my heart out to her about him. Just because. I can’t do crap about this situation. I’m a freaking weirdo for liking someone FOR TWO YEARS who barely knows I exist. YES, I like him as a friend AND as more than a friend. But guess what? I can’t be one of those with him. This sucks wow what is this. I never really had this problem and I had this DGAF personality going on and I it’s wearing away man I sound like a baby. I don’t even know what to do. This sucks so much omg can I stop please.
What if he saw this post, knew it was me and messaged me?? Even a negative message would be nice right now haha. ahhhhhhhhhhhh :/
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