Sometimes I want to talk and talk and talk about my crush. About the little stuff I know about him and how he makes me feel. It makes me so happy but you can’t really talk about that 24/7 with your friends.. I want to be with him. I want to laugh with him. I want share happiness with them. I like everything about him. There was this quote I saw earlier on Tumblr
" I saw that you were perfect and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more. "
Maybe he may say something like, 'But you don’t even know anything about me’. Even if I did, it’s a 99.9% chance that I will still like you after I find out everything about you. I think I will like you more, actually. I just want to sit next to him and just stare at him with a happy smile and glowing face. People who a crush on somebody can understand and relate to me but the people being crushed on probably can’t understand and there’s a slight chance that they will probably be weirded out by it. Sorry sorry sorry. So sorry if I make you feel like that. People should use the internet more. They would realize this is more normal than they really think it is. So many quotes and people explaining their love for the people they are crushing on even though they don’t know them. I thought I was the only one who feel as if they already know the person and can detect someone’s personality just by looking at them and be correct about it. I know I’m the only one now and it makes me feel relieved. Smiling and thinking a lot tonight. I just really like him. I’m so scared to approach him and give little signs to him that I like him. Nobody wants to be rejected, you know? Sometimes I feel like, ‘screw it. if I get rejected then oh well. just move on with your life angel. it’s life.’ but nobody wants to experience that. You will feel sooooooo horrible hearing the person you like reject you especially because they think you’re ugly or not their style. I’m thinking about different ways for my friend to send him signs or tell him straight up for him and me be able to still act normal. I want to be by his side so badly. Also, he does look kind of on the lonely side and if you’re a reader of my blog, you know I think of myself as a loner most of the times. So if he feels that way, then I so relate and I just to accompany him. The other day I saw him laugh….It was the best thing I have ever saw in a while. His face looked so cute when he was laughing and it made me feel so happy. I cannot stop thinking about him and you know I’m actually shocked about how much I think about him. I feel quite mind-blown and if I were to express how I feel about that out loud, I would probably keep saying ‘wow’ repeatedly. You think he would say wow too? To know some stranger likes him and thinks about him a lot. I think I would be shocked haha. I don’t know what to do and I wish I knew what to do. I want to confess to him already and I want to him to also like me back but it’s a 50/50 chance and I don’t know if I want to risk myself of embarrassment if that makes sense. Actually I wouldn’t mind if he saw this post. This feels like a better way haha. Him basically reading into my diary with words that reveal all of the truth but are written in a book because it can’t really be expressed out loud. I think that’s why I started blogging. I don’t really have a lot of people to tell about stuff you would put into a diary. For some reason now I feel like crying. Maybe the choice of music I decided to listen to and this subject in general. It’s really bothersome thinking about stuff like this because you just want to win so badly but you can’t. That’s life but you just wish if life would give you a free pass just this once and let you have your way. I think I will get bold and confess to him in some form of way because if I don’t, I may regret not doing so for the rest of my life. Even if I’m rejected, after sobbing for a while I will remind myself everything happens for reason. I think I’m the missing puzzle piece and I want him to realize that. I think this sounds cute haha. A girl who is crazily liking someone from afar and blabbing about it on her blog haha. What if one day I read back on this post and just feel purely embarrassment LOL (PROBABLY).
Laughing right now because I have no classes with him but see him in the hallway and in the lunch room. That’s not why I’m laughing though. I’m laughing because my friend said Friday she was standing behind him going up the stares and saw me covering my mouth basically blushing (I guess you could say that??) and then she started talking about how huge he was and by huge she meant height and his feet… –.- Really? His feet?? The words she said was,'He has huge feet dude!’ LOL. I think it’s cute and really attractive *snaps fingers* I think she’s not really attracted to his hugeness because she’s 4’11 and I’m 5’6 soooo….haha. Also it doesn’t matter if that attracts her or not because I’m the one who likes him…Hm I wonder if he’s attracted to me. I personally don’t think I’m that pretty in the face and also think I could lose a few pounds (and by few I mean 45 lbs) but a lot of boys tell me they think I’m pretty/hot and want to date me. Actually, I’m really shocked finding how many boys liked me this year so far. You think I would like one them and date them, but nope. You can’t really force yourself to like and not like a person. I never get mad or annoyed when someone likes me because they cannot control their heart and that’s fine because I can relate. I also cannot control my heart. I did stop trying to like the boy I like now because I’m too damn scared to confess so it’s pointless but I can’t really control that. All these boys who liked me boosted my confidence slightly, giving me hope that I might not get rejected because maybe I’m not as ugly as I thought I was. Maybe I do have a chance. Maybe him knowing I truly do like him will maybe make him think the same way about me too. I should be going to bed but I don’t want to. I want to sit here listening to music and just think about him.
SHOULD I SHOW HOW I FEEL THROUGH….K-POP? Actually just mixtures of songs I know that pop to my head and probably in Korean (duh) because I study Korean >.>
Not kpop but been severely in love with song since it came out. I think I relate to this song except the parts that talk about interacting…and protecting haha. Click here for English lyrics.
OOOHHHH SHIET, a Throwback! Yes, this song is just….I feel you SHINee oppars.
Also relating to pretty IU except the interacting parts jesus christ and I don’t know about marriage. thinking ahead much .__.
Started listening to a bunch of songs by NELL (my fav artist) and this album and another one specifically and just relating to the words he’s saying. Now thinking about my shit past and myself in general. Yeah……..gonna go to bed now haha
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